[Living room. In the middle of the room is a CONVERSATION PIT, containing 5 people: LUKE TOPIC, CECILY TOPIC, FOSTER MEEKS, and YUKO MEEKS, all sitting on the couches on the edges of the pit. OLIVE MEEKS, a child, sits in the middle of the pit, staring into space. They are all silent. Luke turns to Cecily and speaks quietly.]

LUKE: Um, I don’t think anyone else is going to show up, I think we can start.

CECILY: You sure?

LUKE: I mean unless you want to wait?

CECILY: No, I think you’re right.

LUKE: Okay.

[Luke and Cecily turn to the Meeks’.]

LUKE: Hey guys.


YUKO: Hello.

LUKE: Um, my name is Luke Topic, I’m sure you’ve met my wife Cecily.


LUKE: [to Cecily] It’s okay honey, calm down. [to the Meeks’] We live next door to you guys. We moved in a year ago.

FOSTER: Yes, we know, is everything okay? The letters you taped to everyone’s doors, that said “help” on the envelopes- well it seems like something’s wrong? You weren't really specific in the letter-

LUKE: Yeah but you could probably tell that something was wrong from like the way it was written-

FOSTER: -you said “help” a lot-

LUKE: -yeah, I’m glad you picked up on that there was something wrong-

FOSTER: -well I’m an empath so-

LUKE: -yeah.

CECILY: I can’t believe it honey- an empath in our living room!

FOSTER [chuckles, embarrassed]: Oh, well, I-

LUKE [to Cecily]: Do you want to sit this one out?

FOSTER: No, no! Don’t worry, I’m flattered! In fact, one of the reasons my wife was first attracted to me-

YUKO: Foster, I don’t think they want to hear about-

FOSTER: Christ guys, we’re supposed to be talking about your problem! Yuko, the Topics have a problem.

LUKE [very angry]: It's okay, Yuko.

CECILY [very angry]: Yeah, really it’s fine.

FOSTER: Well, if it’s fine, why don’t you tell the story, Yuko? You guys are gonna like this.

LUKE: Okay, we’d like to hear it.

FOSTER: I’m really sorry about this guys.

LUKE: It’s fine!

CECILY: I want to hear the story!

LUKE: Yeah, it’s fine, Yuko.

YUKO: Well, um, me and Foster met in college. I was in the library and I was doing work at one of the tables they have, I was doing work for class, for one of my classes, and one of the doors opened, and he walked through the door and came up to me and started screaming and crying-

LUKE: Our son is missing by the way.

YUKO: and I thought, “wow he’s really in touch with-” I’m sorry?

LUKE: I want to hear the rest of the story.

YUKO: You just said your son is missing?

LUKE: Yeah, but finish the story.

FOSTER: WOAH. Woah, hold on here guys? You say your SON is MISSING?

[he stands up]


[he begins to pace around]

FOSTER: Oh my god. Oh my god, guys.

LUKE: Foster sit down we want to hear the story.

CECILY: Are you okay? Can I get you anything?

[Foster falls to the ground and begins to cry hysterically. Luke admires this.]

LUKE: Yuko, honey, you were right. He's in touch with his emotions, with a certain, uh, feminine...

[Luke trails off. Foster begins to scream. Luke raises his hand to his chin.]

LUKE: I can see why you married him.

YUKO: I hope he’s not a bother to you. He deals with things his own way.

LUKE [latent bloodlust]: Oh no, not at all.

YUKO: Oh, no. Oh, he is being a pain isn’t he? I’m sorry, we should-

LUKE: No no no, we’re sorry. He’s not being a pain at all. After all, our son went missing, and we felt the same way.

FOSTER: Jesus Christ you guys, I forgot. Your fucking son is missing! I’m so sorry I’m doing this.

LUKE: It’s fine, we’re sorry.

CECILY: Listen, Foster, if there’s anything we can do to help-

FOSTER: -no, I’m the one who’s fucking sorry-

LUKE: No, Foster, we’re sorry. We’re sorry that you’re going through this-

YUKO: Oh boy, guys, I’m really sorry he’s doing this.

LUKE: What?

CECILY: What did you say, Yuko?

YUKO: I, uh, apologize for my husband’s behavior.

LUKE: I'm sorry, tell me why you would ever feel the need to do that? Do you care about your husband at all? You’d better apologize-

FOSTER: Fuck guys, I’m really sorry she said that.

CECILY: You don’t have to say that Foster, we’re sorry it happened.

YUKO: I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.

LUKE: Yeah, well...

FOSTER: Excuse me? Excuse me Luke?

[Luke is staring at something out the window]

LUKE: Yeah?

FOSTER: What did you just say to my wife? Are you not accepting her apology?

LUKE [turning back to the living room]: No, sorry.

FOSTER: You’d better say sorry. You’d better say sorry, motherfucker.

[Luke sniffs]

LUKE: I’m sorry you feel this way, bitch.

FOSTER: And Yuko say sorry to Luke for your apology

CECILY: I’m sorry you have to apologize for this Yuko, but you know, guys will be guys.

YUKO: No it's okay I'm sorry

OLIVE: Hey guys stop.

[Everyone looks at the child. Long silence.]

LUKE: Is your kid going to fucking say something else or is that it?

FOSTER [baffled]: I don't- she's not even, supposed to even be able to speak yet. Wow. [He thinks. He turns to the child] Don't do that again.

YUKO: I think it's the voice of God- speaking through her.

LUKE: I thought you said you were sorry

FOSTER: Hang on- maybe my wife is on to something. Maybe it's not God, not thee God. But a sign. From God. A sign that we should stop the fighting and focus on what’s really important here, and do our deeds as good inhabitants of this planet and help our fellow man-

LUKE: She said three words

FOSTER: -and focus on getting your son back.

[Luke slowly smiles]

LUKE: Really? You'd do that?

FOSTER: Yes. Love thy neighbor.

LUKE: Wow. Cecily, you hear that?

CECILY: No, what?

LUKE: The Meekses are gonna help us out.

CECILY: Oh, thanks, but you guys don’t need to do that!

FOSTER: Oh but we’d love to!

LUKE: I mean, we'd love it too, but, c'monnnn! You don’t really need to do that!

CECILY: We really don’t want to give you any trouble!

FOSTER: Well, alright. Thanks.

LUKE: Oh, well thanks for offering.

FOSTER: No, thank you.

CECILY: Oh, it’s the least we could do.

FOSTER: Well, it’s the least we could do. You sure you don’t want our help?

LUKE Well, maybe.

FOSTER I’m sorry, I hate to insist.

[Cecily walks over to Olive, picks her up, and throws her against the wall.]

[They all become silent and turn to look at the half-dead child. Long pause.]



FOSTER: Now listen, I know you guys are gonna be feeling bad about this.