INT. BRITISH LIVING ROOM, NIGHT
[YOUNG GAVIN, a CHILD VERSION (indeterminate age) of current day GAVIN, sits on the ground watching the NEWS on THE TELLY. His FATHER, a man in his late 50s with glasses, wearing a sweater, is sitting behind him in an armchair, reading a newspaper.]
[An ANNOUNCER speaks from the telly.]
ANNOUNCER [V/O]: If Britain is attacked by nuclear bombs or by missiles, we do not know what targets will be chosen or how severe the assault will be. If nuclear weapons are used on a large scale, those of us living in the country areas might be exposed to as great a risk as those in the towns...
[Gavin stares at the telly, wide-eyed. He is not taking any of this in. A caption appears below his face: "Summer 1980".]
ANNOUNCER [V/O]: If Britain is attacked by nuclear bombs or by missiles, we do not know what targets will be chosen or how severe the assault will be.
[Father stares intently into his newspaper, hand to his chin. He's looking at a photo of a topless model against a yellow backdrop, along with the caption, in massive letters, "LINDA NEEDS A GOOD SEEING TO!" and a short article underneath about that. Spread out along the rest of the page are various tabloid headlines and articles.]
ANNOUNCER [V/O]: No part of the United Kingdom can be considered safe from both the direct effects of nuclear weapons and the resultant fall-out. The radioactive dust, falling where the wind blows it, will bring the most widespread dangers of all.
[Father looks up at the telly. On the screen is a calendar of the upcoming month. A number of the date boxes contain small mushroom cloud graphics with question marks next to them.]
[He stares at this. He looks up at a crucifix hanging on the wall.]
ANNOUNCER [V/O]: Everything within a certain distance of a nuclear explosion will be totally destroyed. Even people living outside this area will be in danger.
[Father looks back at the topless model. He frowns. He closes the newspaper, gets up, walks toward the telly.]
ANNOUNCER [V/O]: Plan for survival tip number one: stay at home. Your own local authority-
[Father switches the telly off.]
YOUNG GAVIN: Da! My programs!
FATHER: That's enough of that rubbish.
YOUNG GAVIN: But what if there's a nuclear bomb da? How will we know what to do?
FATHER: Son, I've got something more important to show you. If there's going to be a nuclear war we're not going to waste away our lives sitting on our bottoms watching the telly. You're old enough now. It's time I show you summat of your family legacy.
EXT. BACK GARDEN, NIGHT
[A shadowy garden. Father walks up to a shed, Gavin trailing behind him. Father fiddles with a massive padlock on the shed's door.]
YOUNG GAVIN: Will what's in here protect us from the bombs?
FATHER: Patience, Gavin.
[Father gets the door open and they walk in.]
INT. SHED, NIGHT
[Father and Gavin enter. Father shuts the door. He switches on a light- a well-stocked shed. Father turns to Gavin and puts his hand on Gavin's shoulder.]
FATHER: Now son. I have a responsibility to this family. I have a responsibility to protect them, to protect you, to protect your mother, no matter what comes our way. And some day you'll have this responsibility with your own family. And this responsibility can be difficult. But you can't give up. No matter what comes your way. And this will help. Your grandfather built and designed this shed as a bomb shelter during the Blitz. A genius, your grandfather was. I helped him perfect it in his later years. Just know, whenever you need help, protecting your flock, you can come back here, and know that your grandfather and your father, our legacy, is here to help your family, your children's families, decades and generations on down the line.
YOUNG GAVIN: What do you mean dad?
[Father pauses. He quietly struggles to find the right way to proceed.]
FATHER: Perhaps it would be easiest if I show you.
[Father walks further into the shed, and strips the carpet from an area close to a wall. Underneath the carpet is a trap door. He opens the trap door and looks down into it. He grabs a flashlight from the wall, turns it on, holds it over the hole.]
FATHER: Take a look at this.
[Gavin walks over to the trap door. He looks down. Underground, highlighted by Father's flashlight are PILES AND PILES OF 70S PORNOGRAPHIC MAGAZINES. Gavin stares at them in awe.]
YOUNG GAVIN: Wow...
FATHER: Whenever the family becomes too much for me, I head down there. That's what you'll do. Protect these at all costs.
GAVIN: What do I do with them da?
[Father stares at him. Long pause. The shed becomes hotter. He begins to whisper.]
FATHER: What do you do with them?
[he prepares to yell]
FATHER: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM? WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT, BOY? HAVE SOME RESPECT.
YOUNG GAVIN: I'm sorry, dad.
FATHER: SORRY MY ARSE! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TURN OUT A HOMOSEXUAL. YOU'RE GOING TO GET DOWN THERE AND FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THEM! GO ON!
[Father motions toward the trap door with the flashlight.]
FATHER: GO ON! GIT!
[Frowning, Gavin climbs down into the pit. Father looks down at him.]
FATHER: YOU'RE GOING TO FIGURE IT OUT, AND YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK UP UNTIL YOU DO!
[Father slams the trap door shut. He turns and leaves the shed.]